9th Feb 2012

This One Time In Highschool…Vol.1: The Right to Bare Arms

                

High school. Ah, the memories… and plenty of them, there were.

 
You might have known me back then, but in case you didn’t, I queried a friend who DID and here’s what she had to say about who I was:
 
            
 
Pretty accurate description, if I do say so myself (then and now)—and you’re prolly finna agree with at least one of those adjectives after this story.
 
So…this one time in high school…
 
Let me begin by admitting that I was never the ‘rebel’ ‘badass’ …I mean, I never set out to break any rules…but as they say, some rules are meant to be broken, right?
 
In my case, the rule to break (or one of them, anyway) was one pertaining to the dress code. Specifically, the right to bare arms…and I’m not talkin’ guns, people.
 
Below is the ‘Dress Code’ taken directly from my high school’s 2011-2012 Student Handbook. Please direct your attention to #8…thirteen years later, and that bad boy is still in there, hangin’ like a crooked photo on a blank wall.

DRESS CODE

State educational authorities and recent court decisions have determined that style of dress and hair should not disrupt classes, interfere with learning, prevent instruction, and should comply with state health and safety standards.  The Huntsville City Schools believe that requiring neatness, cleanliness, and appropriateness in clothing encourages an atmosphere conducive to learning, work and discipline.  Students are required to dress in a way that is appropriate for school.  Students will not wear any article of clothing or display any insignia or sign that shows disrespect for any person, creed, race, color, sex, or nationality. Parent/guardians are expected to monitor students’ dress.  

Important dress code policy rules are:

1. The length of all dresses, shorts/skorts must be no shorter than 3” above the knee. This 3” 

rule also applies to the length of dresses worn over tights or leggings. Rips, tears, and 

holes in jeans must not be higher than 3” above the knee. Tights must be worn under 

jeans that have holes or slits. Slits in skirts and dresses must not be extreme or revealing.

2. Clothing that displays antisocial, immoral or illegal behavior is not allowed. Any article 

of clothing, jewelry, or haircut depicting gangs, satanic occult, violence, sex, drugs, 

alcohol, mutilation or language that could be considered obscene or vulgar will not be 

allowed.

3. Jewelry that could be used as a weapon is not allowed.

4. Hats and head covering may not be worn in school buildings, except for religious 

purposes.

5. Sunglasses, gloves, bandanas, and house slippers may not be worn in school buildings.

6. Bib overalls and/or suspenders must be snapped, hooked and/or buttoned and kept on 

shoulders.

7. Pants may not be oversized, too tight, or allowed to sag. Undergarments must not be 

exposed. Pant legs must be uniform length and may not drag the floor.

8. Spandex and clinging garments are not permitted. Shirts/tops/blouses should be 

appropriate for school. No tank tops, halters, tube tops, or spaghetti straps. No low cut or 

revealing tops.

9. Coats and heavy outer garments are not to be worn inside school building and are to be 

taken immediately to a locker and remain there until authorized dismissal from school.

Any student in violation of the dress code will be required to change.classes will be unexcused (students must make-up work missed). Disregard for the dress code

Time missed from classes will be unexcused (students must make-up work missed). Disregard for the dress code will lead to disciplinary action, in accordance with the Huntsville City Schools Official StudentParent Handbook.  

The final decision regarding dress will rest with the building principal and his/her designee.

Hol’up, so wait…what? NO TANK TOPS? Exactly whaddaya mean ‘No tank tops?’  I was (and still am) a jeans, tank tops, and flip flops kind of gal. So, in my mind their rule was a blatant infringement upon my ability to display my personal style. I mean, what was the real harm there? Sure, I guess my double D’s could have been a distraction to my pubescent classmates…that is, if they actually existed—it’s simple math really: if you take 2 Double D’s and subtract 2 Double D’s, how many Double D’s do you have? None. So,  no threat there. That said, I decided to go right ahead and wear my tank top…and, I’d show them, I wouldn’t just wear a tank top, I’d wear spaghetti straps. Boom! Pow! Take that right in the poop shooter, authority.

So there I was in the senior lounge giving an impromptu performance of All Saints’ ‘Never Ever’ to a small crowd (British accent and all, and might I add, I was quite good—itwas my jam, afterall)…and I’d just made it to the “you can tell me to my face, or even on the phone” part, when Mr. B, the principal sauntered up and rudely interrupted me.

HOW. DARE. HE.

Mr. B: uh, Ms. Marshall, I’m sure you’re aware that tank tops are prohibited, as outlined in the Student Handbook given to you on the first day of classes…and, as I’ve personally pointed out to you on more than one occasion.

I lowered my head in shame and with a mask of contrition, and a wavering murmur, I offered up an explanation.

Me: yes, Mr. B, I know…but…let me explain? You see, my mother works in a thread factory…we’re poor. She can’t afford to buy my clothes from a store like everyone else…so she, you know…she makes all of my clothes for me with the extra threads she saves up and brings home from the factory…but she never quite has enough to make the sleeves for my shirts, Mr. B, she can only take so much extra thread home, ya know? Honestly, I’m lucky to…::insert a very melodramatic glance down at my shoulder and a Hollywood pause for added effect:: …I’m lucky to even have these straps, sir.

You know how sometimes something is so infinitely absurd that it renders you speechless? Like, you don’t even feel that it deserves any sort of acknowledgement? That was Mr. B in that moment. And then a two minute duel ensued.

He stood with both hands jammed in his pockets, staring at me as if waiting for the charade to end. Except, it wasn’t “as if” he was waiting for the charade to end, he was waiting for the charade to end.

I stared back.

He blinked twice…now that I think back on it, he was probably trying to adjust his eyes to focus better on my bullshh..

I blinked once.

He stared on.

I cocked my head five degrees to the right and raised both eyebrows in a “welp” expression.

And then…then he shook his head, sighed…and walked away.

THAT. HAPPENED, people…in real life. (Rashida witnessed the whole thing)

I won.

High school, 0. Robyn, 1.

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